YOUR VAGINA IS SHY

(hehe he said vagina)


What's wrong girls? You didn't get enough hugs as a child? You don't have any friends? Did daddy touch you inappropriately when you were growing up? No!?! Then please quit showing the world your boobs and vagina's.

Let me take a step back. Unattractive girls, please quit showing the world your boobs and vagina's. No one wants to see them. I just don't get it. At some point these boob flashers had never shown the world their junk. Then one day they just say, "well titties it's time, let me introduce you to the world. Here it is world! Now give me some beads!" Who gives a shit about some 35 cents beads? I'll tell you who! Girls with low self esteem, that's who.

Could you imagine if your daughter was on the street showing her breast and tons of young perverted men were taking pictures and videos. You have to be thinking to yourself, where the fuck did I go wrong? Maybe I should have gotten her that easy bake oven back in the second grade even though she didn't do so well on her spelling test. For the moms, maybe you should have just gotten an abortion because you obviously weren't ready for parenthood. Your goals as parents are as follows:

1. keep your child safe


2. teach them right and wrong


3. get them into a good college


4. keep their boobs and vagina hidden from the world
   

When it comes down to it, if your child shows the world her boobs you have failed. Chances are if she is doing that she is not in a good college. Community college maybe, but let's face it, she's no genius. You definitely failed on the right and wrong thing and they officially are not safe if their boobs are hanging out on a street corner. You failed!

So girls keep your boobs to yourself!!!!

unless you're these girls

HOT COLLEGE GIRLS.....

SUCK!!!!!!

(We are so hot!! Look at us)

Sure the young ladies above are pleasing to the eyes but don't you just hate hot college girls? I'm am now at the ripe old age of 25 and I just deal with anymore sexy 18 and 19 year old girls. It's starting to get me depressed.

When I attended college the 18 and 19 year old super sexy girls were great. They were great to look at and even better to play with. Sure they were a little immature but so were you. We were living in a drunken, sex filled fantasy world. My how things have changed. Let's look at an example.

Thursday night

I get off work at 5:00 pm and I am struggling to make myself go to the gym and workout. Meanwhile back in college the two hot girls above are having their second jumbo Margarita at happy hour and the local Mexican restaurant. They are laughing and talking about how stressful their life is. (They have a Spanish test next week and they are worried about it)

6:30 pm. I leave the gym and I am feeling pretty good about myself. I have a sense of accomplishment. It may be the best part of my day. The hot college girls are feeling pretty good to. They have now been hit on by 25 guys and here countless comments on how hot they look.

6:32 pm. I am now depressed because I know when I get home my girlfriend is going to be there, and let's face it, I really hate that bitch sometimes. The hot girls have boyfriends that buy them lots of stuff but they still get to hook up with random people.

7:30 pm. My girlfriend, let's call her Satan, meets me at the door and immediately ask me why am so late getting home. I think about killing her but then the neighbors might hear and I will have to go to prison. I'll just have to kill her later. Meanwhile in fantasy world, one of the hot girls is making out with a hot girl she met at a bar and tons of guys are watching.

10:00 pm. I have been avoiding my girlfriend for the last 2 hours and I am going to have to get in the bed because I have to get up really early in the morning and do the same thing all over again. The college girls are just about to leave their house were they have been for the last 2 hours pre-gaming for their night out. They will stay out until around 3:00 a.m. and then come home and have sex with some random guy. Just for a point of reference, at 3:00 am I will be really far on the right side of the bed trying my best not to touch my girlfriend. Why will she not go home!!

These are just a few reasons I hate college girls. In the future I will discuss why I hate all different types of college students because they make my life so miserable.

I'm Pretty on the Inside

As a child I was told over and over that you should look for the beauty on the inside of a person and not necessarily the beauty on the outside. Now that I think back on it, all the people that were telling me that were grotesquely unattractive.

Do you know what ugly people with awesome personalities are called? They are called really good friends. At what point does a man look at a hideously unattractive girl and say.."ugh... she's super nice and cool, it would be awesome for me to start sticking my penis in her and have children and we can grow gray, old and uglier together." That thought never runs through your head. I have never wanted to have sex with an ugly girl because of her great personality. I have had sex with an ugly girl because of the dark, bud light and a strong desire to have intercourse with someone besides myself. But even then I can't stand to see her in the morning and every time I pass her in the Walmart I have to hide so we don't have to speak ever again. What if I married one of these ugly girls? Everyday, every-fucking-day, you would see this ugly son-of-a-bitch and that's not even the worst part. The worst part is knowing that no matter how bad it sucks that particular morning, you know deep down inside that it will get no better and eventually will get worse. Dating or marrying an ugly girl is like having Alzheimer's, it's just all down hill until you finally get to the end.

Rule #1
You should never, ever date anyone that is less attractive than you. Think about it, it already sucks to think about waking up beside the same woman everyday for the rest of your life. What if that girl looked like an extra in the Planet of the Apes?Sometimes I wake up and I'm pissed that I'm even around. I look in the mirror and I'm just like shit, it's you again! I am so sick of seeing your beautiful face every damn day. What if you had to wake up beside an ugly girl everyday for 30 years? I can't even imagine.

Rule 2... really, rule one is the only rule you should follow. Having said all of this it should be known that if the super nice, ugly girl happens to be filthy rich...... marry her ugly ass!!!